


The One You Least Expect

by MathiasWhitehouse



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bad Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 18:19:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MathiasWhitehouse/pseuds/MathiasWhitehouse
Summary: Romano gets bored during a world meeting and spots a certain Gentleman playing games on his phone. The pair start text, England trying to guess who it was that had caught him. Will he find out who the mysterious texter is? Cute, pointless EngMano Fluff.





	The One You Least Expect

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another fluffy EngMano oneshot.

**Word Count: 4,357**

**Pairing: EngMano (England/Romano)**

**Warnings: Romano and England’s language**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Hetalia or any of its characters they all belong to one Hidekaz Himaruya**

 

Romano was bored.

Why?

He was currently seated at a table in a stuffy meeting room listening to other nation chatter on and on about their problems and problems caused by other nations. He had no obligation to sit through the world meetings and yet he was still here, doodling in his notebook, pretending to pay attention to whichever nation was talking at the front of the hall. Waiting impatiently for the meeting to reach its scheduled interval which was… He glanced up at the clock with a deep sigh… 45 minutes away.

Dropping his pen louder than was necessary, South Italy started to sweep his gaze around the room trying to find something to interest him or just to simply find someone who was as bored as himself. He noticed France and Spain trying to subtly grope each other under the table and he quickly turned his head away in disgust.

Many nations thought that the Italian nation had feelings or was in a relationship with the Spaniard but that was not even close to the truth. Of course, Romano had someone he liked, he had struggled with his feelings for a couple of centuries before finally, and reluctantly, admitting to himself that he had a crush. Though he had never really gotten the chance to act on said feelings.

Moving his gaze onward, Romano sighed again when his eyes landed on his idiotic brother who was clinging to his German counterpart, it made Romano physically sick with the way his brother acted around the Germanic nation but Veneziano seemed to really like him and so he let them be. For the most part.

Rolling his eyes skyward, Romano’s attention was directed towards a certain sandy, blond haired nation, like it usually was. His eyes zeroed in on what the other nation was doing and was pleasantly surprised to find him twiddling his pen around the fingers of his left hand while his right was hidden half under the table messing with what looked to be a phone.

Romano felt a smirk appear.

Tut tut, pristine and proper gentleman playing games on his phone during a meeting, who would have thought.

A sudden idea came to the half-nation as he watched the other fixated for a few more minutes, he glanced quickly around the room to make sure no one was paying him any mind before he pulled his own mobile out of his pocket. He began to text the older nation, not having any idea as to how or why he had the others number but he didn’t want to question such luck. Though for some strange reason he could recall the blond nation not having his number in return, oh well, he was going to have fun messing around.

_Tut tut. No playing games in the meeting Mr Gentleman. I thought you knew better than this?_

Romano watched in childish glee from the corner of his eye, shifting his body towards the speaker to appear interested; as England’s eyes widen upon reading the text message. He looked up frantically, his green eyes scanning the nations gathered around the table frowning as he tried to figure out who on earth he both spotted what he was doing and who had sent him the text. Not seeing anything overly suspicious he decided to text back.

_Well, this meeting is rather boring but it seems that I am not the only one who is bored, hmmm? You seem to be having a hard time concentrating if you managed to spot what I was doing._

Romano smirked at that and decided to see how far he could play with the Englishman before he snapped and either made a scene during the meeting or refused to text him anymore.

_I must agree, this meeting sucks! Anyway, it is so hard not to spot what you were doing seen as my eyes are always drawn to you. ;)_

Romano feeling brave looked directly at the Brit, his smirk widening as he watched a deep red flush cover the others face in a matter of seconds. What made this even funnier, as he had a hard time trying to stem his laughter was that Germany chose that moment to glance up at the Englishman.

“England, are you feeling okay? You seem to be running a fever.”

Said nation snapped his eyes up in panic, forcing himself to face the German, England shook his head and mentally willed his face to return to its usual pallor.

“I am quite alright, Germany. Just a little warm is all.”

As Germany nodded and turned back to the meeting England released a deep sigh of relief before turning his attention back towards the text message.

_You must be joking with me! Oh, I know, it this France? Found a way to block your number from my phone?_

As his phone vibrated in his hand, Romano almost had to hold back a growl of anger when he read the reply, glaring across the table at the English nation, who luckily was writing some notes down in his notebook.

_Don’t compare me to that fucking French bastard. I am no pervert, thank you very much!_

He sent the first message as soon as he had written it but after a second of contemplation he decided to send another just to clear up any misunderstandings the Brit might have.

_I was telling the truth you know, it’s not a prank or anything. I have been watching you from afar for decades now._

He looked up just in time to watch as the English nation’s eyes widened upon reading the first message but the first thing running through his own mind was. Shit! He can probably tell who I am now, just from that one fucking message! Then another blush was dusting the island nation’s face when the second message came through. Again, Romano had to turn his gaze away, lest he give himself away too soon, he focused his attention on the speaker at the front of the room, this time China, as England looked around the meeting hall still trying to catch anything that could give his mystery messenger away.

_I am flattered, thank you but will you please tell me who you are? Or at least give me some clues? We could turn this into a game, that way neither of us would be bored…_

Romano smiled down at the desperation in the message and quickly typed out his reply while watching England out the corner of his eye once more.

England, on the other hand, sat staring at his phone screen hopefully, he really wanted to know who this person was. He did have someone he liked though, so he wasn’t sure if he could give this mysterious person what they so clearly wanted. If he was lucky this messenger would be the person he wanted it to be.

_Okay, I guess that could be fun. How about you ask me some questions and I answer them truthfully. Only yes and no question or simple one word answers, no reason to make this too easy. You will have 5 guesses._

England’s face grew into a massive smile as his eyes scanned the text on his screen, his heart pounding in his chest out of anticipation as he started to make a list of all the possible countries in the room. He pondered on a question for a few seconds before typing it down and sending it across.

_What colour hair do you have?_

_Brown._

England smiled, knocking of all the blonde nations of instantly he started to write down all of the brown-haired nations on a piece of plain paper hoping to narrow it down even more.

_Male or female??_

England was praying to God that they were male, although not many of the nations were female and he had in fact slept with a few females during his privateer-turned-pirate days he was more impartial to the rougher gender. He had known he was gay since he was a teenager, centuries ago but with the ideology of society it had been difficult. Now that he thought about it most male nations he knew were gay.

_Male, obviously ;)_

England smiled again, he was loving this person as every new message came through, their sassy attitude and snarky comments were delightful. He also found the occasional emoji cute, not that he would ever admit that out loud, he just prayed he wasn’t blushing as much as he felt that he was.

_Okay, well I am certainly pleased about that. Umm this next question might be a little weird and I don’t want to offend you but I just need to know… Were you ever a British colony? Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable._

Romano looked confused for a couple of moments wondering why he would feel offended by such a simple question. He typed his answer.

_Nope, not an ex-colony of the Great British Empire._

He watched as England breathed a huge sigh of relief once he had read through the message, he smirked at the end and Romano assumed he must have been pleased with the British Empire comment. He eyed the nation as he bent down over a piece of paper making crosses through what he assumed were names and smirked.

_Okay, are you a European country?_

Romano fought to hold back a snort of laughter at that question because, one he knew it wasn’t going to make this much easier for the English nation, what with there being approximately 76 European nations and two he thought it was adorable. Though he did, in fact, manage to resist and instead turned to glance quickly at England who was trying once more to subtly look around the room.

_Okay, yes, I am a European country. Though I don’t see how this is helping you in the slightest. Are you not going to try and guess yet?_

_It helped me out quite a bit, do not forget quite a few of the Asian countries have brown hair, though most people think it is black. ;) Okay I will try to guess…. Portugal?_

England knew that is wasn’t Portugal because his number was saved into his own phone and the name would have come up if he would have received a message from the southern European nation. He just really wanted to witness the reaction he would get for that particular name, if it was who he hoped then the reply would be telling immediately. He was not disappointed.

_I am in no way related to that fucking tomato bastard, and so offended that you would think so!_

England couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that one, he had just crossed off two more countries from his list and he was indeed very happy with the response. However, he was so focused on his phone his thoughts clouding his mind that he had forgotten where he was.

“England!”

The Island nation looked up in shock as he stared horrified at the German nation standing behind the podium with his arms crossed in front of himself a scowl of annoyance on his features.

“Would you kindly share what you find so amusing?”

England merely shook his head, looking down at the table top in embarrassment, refusing to meet the gaze of anyone in the room as they watched in confusion as his lips curled up once more, despite his attempts to quench it.

“Sorry Germany, it won’t happen again.”

“It had better not, otherwise I will be forced to kick you out of the meeting for the rest of the day.”

England nodded his head, and waited. He waited impatiently for all the attention to switch off him and back towards the speaker before he turned his gaze back to his phone, hurriedly messaging his mystery admirer back.

_Okay, so you are neither Portugal or Spain, thank you. That was rather helpful._

_You, sneaky bastard, that does not count. That is not fair, no! Stupid bastard._

_Oh? It is not my fault that you gave it away. Though I must say that you writing style is giving me a strong feeling of who you are… ;)_

He received a text almost directly after he had sent his, England smiled as he read the newest message and could once again feel a deep blush covering his cheeks as he looked across the table. His eyes landed on a rather uptight and mostly angry nation who was seated almost opposite himself. His smiled widened as amber eyes met his green. The other nation blushed and looked away immediately.

_I am not that easy to figure out!_

_Alright, how about this? I will ask you one more question and then will message you my final answer. How does that sound?_

_You seem pretty sure of yourself, there? Don’t wanna take anymore more guesses?_

_I am pretty confident that I know exactly who you are and I would have to admit if I were right I would excessively pleased._

Romano looked over towards the English nation wondering what on earth he could possibly ask that would narrow it down to him but he was cut short by the subtle vibrating of his phone in his hand.

_Okay, here goes my last question? Do you have a twin brother?_

Romano once again simply looked over at the Island nation who had a very noticeable and smug smirk spreading across his face as he doodled in his notebook waiting for his reply. He could feel his face being ablaze by the sheer amount of blood rushing to his cheeks. He quickly turned his gaze towards the clock lest England choose to look his way and started when he read that the break was less than 5 minutes away.

_Damn, no, that was just a lucky question! Yes, I have a twin brother…_

England blushed violently, his face growing as red as one of the tomatoes Romano and Spain loved so much, the South Italian nation mussed from across the table keeping his gaze on the English nation as he seemed to be debating with himself whether or not to actually message the other nation the answer of not.

Romano, becoming nervous that he had actually scared the other European nation off with his virtual confession sighed heavily when he heard Germany call for a break. He slowly started to pack his papers away into his bag under the table keeping them safe until he would need them again. He looked up once he had finished and found himself the only person left in the vast meeting hall. Much to his disappointment, England was nowhere to be seen. The Italian nation slumped in his seat, releasing a put-out sigh as he bought one of his hands up and rubbed it down his face wearily.

Well, that was until a pair of warm, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, making him jump in surprise. He felt a shiver run down his spine as breath danced across his neck, tickling his sensitive skin as a whispered voice reached his ear.

“Oh, don’t worry, Love. I have been watching you for as long as I can remember.”

Romano jumped up from his seat when he distinguished the familiar British drawl and spun around so fast that his chair fell to the floor with a clatter. England was now standing in front of him, a sheepish smile on his lips, hands dropping to his sides at the sudden movement from the other.

“You bastard! I cannot believe you, why have you never said anything before? Now I just made a complete fool out of myself.”

England bought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck nervously, still smiling embarrassed down at the other nation as he shifted his gaze away from the inquisitive eyes of the half-nation.

“You didn’t make a fool of yourself, I thought it was enjoyable. Anyway, I was worried; you were always so scared of me. Always hiding behind Spain or holding onto your brother, apologising and crying until I would leave or sit on the opposite side of the room. I didn’t think you would like me back. Why didn’t you say anything?”

England stared at the other confused as Romano just stood in shock after hearing the others confession, he didn’t think he would have loved him back? But he did, Romano really, really liked the Englishman. He had only acted like that to get the Spanish bastard of his back.

“Same reason, tea bastard. I thought that you like that Hamburger bastard, what with your ‘special relationship’ and all that.”

It was Romano’s turn to look away in embarrassment as England stared at the younger wide-eyed, his mind trying to process what was said. Romano turned his attention back to the Englishman once he heard a strangled noise coming from the other, looking down he was shocked to find the usually stoic nation doubled over laughing, with tears spilling down his cheeks as he tried to regulate his breathing. The Italian half-nation crossed his arms over his chest, not entirely impressed with being laughed at by his crush and turns his back on the chuckling island nation.

“Ah, Romano. No, don’t do that. I am sorry for laughing but it wasn’t at you, Love. I would never laugh at you. I was merely laughing at the thought of me loving that bloody Yank. He is such an insufferable git and much too childish for my tastes.”

England walks over towards the sulking nation, wrapping his arms around the other waist from behind, pulling his unresisting body against his own, into a tight embrace. Resting his head against the smaller nations shoulder, England placed soft kisses against the others cheek.

“The person I like, is very argumentative; which I must admit it a major turn on for me, must be from my pirate days… Whenever I see him I get so flustered that I can never think straight and I always flounder my words. He is completely adorable when he pouts and, in my opinion, is so much better than his younger brother.”

Romano blushed multiple shades of red at the complete sincerity he spied in the Englishman’s arms once he turned around; he wrapped his own arms around the others neck pulling them even closer.

“Really?”

England merely chuckled at the utter hopeful glaze in the other’s eyes and couldn’t help but nod his head vigorously, a soft smile shaped his features as he pressed a feather light kiss to Romano’s forehead.

“Truly, Love. You are unique, special. Even through all of the hardships you have faced, being downgraded to half-nation just a few short centuries ago. The constant invasions and such, your will has never been broken and I couldn’t be prouder to say that I love you.”

Romano’s blush deepened as he stared deep into the vibrant eyes of the man in front of himself, he leant forward slowly, landing a fleeting kiss to England’s cheek revelling in the attractive blush dusting his partners cheeks now.

“Good because the person I like is pretty special himself, I mean he owned over a third of the world and still had time to spend looking after all those baby colonies. You really did impress me bastard. I bet half these countries who give you shit would have even been able to survive half as long as your empire did. They are simply jealous of your strength; your endurance. You were also ruler of the seas, at the same time as running an entire empire and keeping the Spanish at bay.”

Romano bought a hand around to gently caress the Englishman’s cheek as the other leant into the soft touch with a quiet sigh of contentment, closing his eyes in pleasure.

“Thank you, Love.”

England’s voice came out as a simple breath, his throat clogged up with deep churning emotions all directed at the Italian in front of himself. He turned his head to the side keeping his eyes closed loosely and placed a loving kiss to the palm of Romano’s hand.

“No problem, bastard.”

Came the whispered reply. England and Romano made their way towards the cafeteria, they walked through the empty halls happily holding hands in the silence. They were coming up to the double doors when England’s voice rang through the hallway, cautious and nervous as he pulled Romano to a quick halt.

“Hey Romano?”

“What is it, Bastard?”

Romano turned to look at England who returned to gaze and squeezed the tanned hand in his own smiling at the other softly.

“Call me Arthur, please?”

The Italian stared up at England who had a deep blush on his cheeks, one that he was almost certain matched the one spreading across his own. He turned to look down at their joined hands feeling his embarrassment disappear a little without the piercing green eyes eyeing him imploringly.

“Alright Arturo, only if you call me Lovino or Lovi.”

England smiled brightly, bringing their joined hands up to his lips before he placed a kiss to his partners knuckles affectionately before lowering them again. He then bent his head and placed another fleeting kiss to the other’s lips.

“I would love nothing more, Lovi.”

They walked through the doors to the cafeteria in silence, walking in England and Romano ignored the stares as best as they could as England walked over towards the counter after placing another quick kiss to the younger nations lips. He ordered their drinks paying for them both despite the protests his boyfriend had attempted to put forward, and carried them over to the table Romano had chosen. He placed the mugs on the table gently before taking a seat at the table, sliding the coffee towards Romano and taking a sip of his cup of tea smiling at the warmth which instantly spread through his abdomen.

Romano after taking a sip of his coffee, moved his chair closer to the Englishman and without regard for anyone still staring, rested his head against England’s shoulder sighing happily when he felt a hand being carded through his hair absently. The two were so wrapped up in each other’s company that they never paid attention to the two approaching nations who were glaring at them both with contempt.

France stood in front of England with his arms folded across his chest, mouth set into a frown as his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. He cleared his throat, breaking the others out of their revere making both sets of eyes focus on himself and his companion with gazes unwavering and questioning. He took a deep breath and smiled at the too, albeit forcefully.

“Ah Angleterre, Romano. How long have you been dating, mes ami? How come you never told anyone?”

Romano turned his head, nuzzling into the Englishman’s neck mumbling something along the lines of ‘nosy, insufferable French bastards’ making England chuckle as he watched France squirm under his penetrating glance.

“What’s it to you, Frog?”

“I… Well, I just…”

France broke off with a dark blush painting his cheeks as he turned to Spain who was glaring at England with so much contempt that the Frenchman felt the urge to step back a bit, though he resisted.

“What do the two of you want? We are trying to enjoy our drinks before the meeting starts up again.”

“You cannot date him!”

England stared at the French nation in shock, at his outburst his confusion growing as Spain hit his companion around the back of his head, whispering something in rapid Spanish that the two seated nations couldn’t quite catch. Though they shared a look of bewilderment just before the others turned their attention back on them once more.

“What the bloody hell do you mean, Frog?”

“You cannot possibly have fallen in love with this grumpy, angry half-nation, mon amour. It is not possible.”

England was just becoming more and more confused at the French nation, not really understanding what the other was talking about but not liking what he had been insinuating.

“I don’t care what you deem impossible or not. Lovino and I are dating and I love him, there is nothing more to be said on the matter.”

Romano blushed at the English nation’s words, he placed a sweet kiss to the others neck as he refused to remove himself from his boyfriend’s shoulder, refusing to socialise with ignorant bastards and nosy Europeans.

“You are supposed to be with me, Angleterre!”

England watched in vague amusement as Spain facepalmed looking a mix of angry, forlorn and disappointed. He wondered what the story was behind that. Romano on the other hand mumbled something into England’s skin making Spain and France blush three shades of red as they refused to look at each other.

“If you and England were meant to be together France, then why were you and Spain groping each other during the meeting this morning?”

“No matter what I did, Angleterre never returned my affections. I would always tell him of my love but he always brushed it off to be a simple prank, a joke at his expense.”

France looked so downtrodden that England almost felt sorry for the Frenchman but he forced himself to scowl at his neighbour feeling annoyed at the audacity of the other nation. Just as he was about to respond Germany called out that it was about time to start heading back to the meeting hall to continue their discussion. Just as he was pulling himself and Romano to their feet he heard a sad voice whisper behind himself as he made his way out of the room.

“I never stood a chance, did I?”

The French country asked, his eyes gazed sadly up into vibrant green ones.

“That’s the sad thing, you did once.”

He then turned and walked out of the cafeteria, with Romano smiling softly at his side, their joined hands swinging idly between them as they left France to be comforted by the Spaniard who they realised never said a word the entire exchange.


End file.
